Sunday, January 15, 2017

15 Reasons to NOT Watch BBC


I am here today, as a friend, to issue a warning to my fellow humans.  Unfortunately, a great number of my fellow humans have already fallen victim to this menace, and -- I believe I may safely say I speak on behalf of them, too -- I felt it incumbent upon me to caution any unwary newcomers to the world of entertainment that there is a force out here that should be staunchly avoided.

Have you heard of it?  It's called . . . *ominous music* . . . 

The BBC.


This is serious stuff, folks.  The BBC is a terrible corporation out to profit from the hearts-blood of innocent adolescent girls.  If you value your emotional stability, your sanity, your reputation, your ability to function in day-to-day life, and your independence, STAY. AWAY. FROM. THE. BBC.  I'll even give you fifteen reasons why.  

#1.  It takes a sick satisfaction in making sure that there's always at least one death, and rarely has it ever been content with that.    


#2.  It's ridiculously prolific.  As if one or two destructive television shows weren't enough, it has to go and deluge us with multiple shows AND multiple movies, miniseries, etc.  So discourteous.  


#3.  It likes to lull you into a false sense of security, thinking that you don't like a new love interest for another character, and then all of a sudden the relationship is threatened and you forget how you're supposed to do that breathing thing.  I speak from experience.  


#4.  It birthed the show Robin Hood.  I still have not fully recovered from this show, and it's been -- *checks date of S3 review* -- coming up on two years.  TWO. YEARS.  It tore my little heart all to pieces and then put it back together and then tore it up again and on and on the cycle went.  IT IS AWFUL. 


#5.  If the Dickens book isn't creepy, the creators will find a way to make it creepy.  And if the book's a little creepy, they'll make sure you don't sleep for a week after watching the movie.  


#6.  Does it care that you're a human being with a heart and basic humane tendencies?  No. No, it does not.  Couldn't care less, as a matter of fact. 

See.

#7.  It manipulates you into rooting for bigamy.  I don't even know what else can be said on that.  


#8.  It makes you fall in love with terrible human beings who make awful choices that hurt other people but who don't even care because they think they know everything and they're repulsive and arrogant out the whazoo but you basically come to adore them devotedly.  (What?  I'm not bitter, just stating facts.)


#9.  IT HAS WAY TOO MANY UNBELIEVABLY LOVABLE AND GRIPPING OTPS.  Like how am I even supposed to know how to handle life with this surplus of precious love stories going on?  And also why can't any of them ever have a smooth ride??


#10.  Even if you don't like the characters . . . you like the characters.  


#11.  It'll deal with one particular topic for a lot of the show/movie/whatever, which will then trick you into thinking that you know a lot about that particular topic, when in actuality you know very little.  (Like midwifery.)


#12.  One of its greatest dangers is that it will alternate between heart-bursting happiness and gut-wrenching pain and IT WON'T GIVE YOU ANY WARNING BETWEEN CHANGES.  So at times you start to think, "Oh, maybe the worst is over.  This is really feelsy but in a good way, so p'raps it's okay now."  IT IS A DECEPTION, FRIENDS.


#13.  You don't even have to have seen the show in question for a fandom picture from Pinterest to stab you in the feels.  


#14.  It inundates you with all these awesome role models, and how can you possibly hope to imitate them all??


#15.  Basically, it's just best to stay away from it.  Because it will destroy you.  On multiple levels.



















  







41 comments:

  1. I ADORE the BBC :D hehe good post!

    ReplyDelete
  2. HONESTLY THIS IS THE BEST POST EVER. LIKE MY FAVOURITE YOU EVER WROTE. I HATE BBC TOO. AGREED 100%

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww, thank you so much! That comment totally made my day :) BBC IS THE WORST.

      Delete
  3. I NEED MORE EXPLANATION OF NUMBER SEVEN???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's Jane Eyre. That story will mess with your feelings.

      Delete
    2. Ohhhhhh... because you find yourself actually rooting for a relationship that would be polygamous... Yes, I can see where that would be a little emotionally disorienting. :)

      Random side note: I think I was slightly thrown off by your use of the word "bigamy"??? I was snobishly thinking "she meant to use the word 'polygamy' because that's what you call it when people marry multiple spouses" but I looked up both words and (surprise!) bigamy means "getting married when you are already married." So. You used it right and I learned something I did not know (and was thankful that I looked it up and didn't stick my foot in my mouth).

      Delete
    3. Haha, good point! Well, I thought bigamy referred to two spouses and polygamy referred to three or more -- I suppose I should have looked into that! --, but I guess it still works. Looks like we both learned something :P

      Delete
  4. THIS POST IS LEGITIMATELY KILLING ME. I AM DYING. SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.

    HOW COULD YOU. I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.

    *wipes away tears of laughter*

    I still can't get over that #DarcyOut gif . . .

    #13--YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. How does that even work?! I run into that literally all. the. time. and I can't understand it. I haven't even seen HALF of these shows and they stilllllllllllllllllll manage to hurt me. It's a Scandal and an Outrage. *frowns darkly*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY. BUT IT HAD TO BE DONE.

      I knoooooow -- like what and why and how?!

      Delete
  5. BBC, you are literally the goods. Gimmie my heart back. I need it. I'm going back to school. Come on, give it!!

    Oh that #DarcyOut gif! First viewing of the movie that was basically what I was thinking and I'd never seen the gif before ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I second that, BBC.

      Hahaha, it's so accurate! xD

      Delete
  6. Just to let you know I was crying and agreeing on the first one. Since you put that picture there. Great post! Extremly Accurate!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, and I really do use the mute button all the time.

      Delete
    2. *ducks* I'm so sorry! But seriously, though. OH, speaking of! I was at a library recently and they just happened to have the entire second season of RH for $10 in their sale case! Needless to say, I pounced xD

      Haha, for real . . .

      Delete
    3. WHAT! THEY WERE SELLING IT!!!! AND THEN YOU GOT THERE FIRST!!!??
      How cool! Lucky! I'm trying to get the rest of my family to watch it and I'm failing because they don't want to all crowd around the computer. I have no idea where to find ANY of the seasons. Well, exepct maybe Amazon but I would like something with the label Free on it, or only $10!!! Great find, I hope you enjoy watching over, and over again! (Not the last episode unless you REALLY want to.) :D

      Delete
    4. I KNOW, RIGHT?!?! It was such a huge blessing, I was SOOOOO happy. :D (And I also got another good movie at the same time!)

      "But I would like something with the label Free on it, or only $10." << GIRL YOU UNDERSTAND ME. XD Haha, my thanks! And my best wishes for getting your family to break down and watch it, even if it's 'round the computer. :-P (Not the last episode . . . haha, nope. Not often, at least. :-P)

      P.S. Also, speaking of TV shows, have you ever tried Leverage? Because I feel like you might like it. (And compared to RH, it's a waltz through a field of sunflowers, emotionally speaking. :-P)

      Delete
  7. PREACH. BBC is the source of all my heart problems (if I had heart problems). I can't even talk about Merlin, Robin Hood, or Sherlock without ranting about all the precious characters that died (especially on Robin Hood. Don't even get me started... I need to stop thinking about it). Have you seen the latest season of Sherlock?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know right. The struggle is so real. I haven't, yet. I'm a little scared, tbh xD

      Delete
  8. YES, EXACTLY. REALLY, BBC. Come on.
    (But honestly you could be talking about BBC itself in #8. Hahaha.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right! I hadn't thought of it that way, but 'tis true.

      Delete
  9. Replies
    1. Hehe, that's basically what I think, too xD

      Delete
  10. YES YES YES.

    -cries in the corner because of BBC-

    Actually, I'm not crying. I'm smiling and laughing because this post is hysterical. :D

    "It birthed the show Robin Hood." Honey, I don't think we'll EVER get over the heartbreak it has caused us. Tell you what, when we're old and gray we'll meet up and sit in our rocking chairs and reminisce about the times when Marian and Robin were both alive and all was well in Sherwood forest. Our families will think us crazy, but ah well. We cannot help having scars. :P

    #5 is so true. (Did I ever tell you about the time I couldn't sleep with my closet door closed after watching LD because I was sure Rigaud was hiding behind it? Yeah...)

    I never quite thought of #7 that way before but....hmmmm. Maybe I should rethink my life? (Actually, Charlotte Bronte is the true culprit here, but I get your point. :P)
    (The photo you used is GOLD.)

    You used one of my favorite gifs of all time!! -DARCY OUT-

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I KNEW YOU WOULD SYMPATHIZE WITH ME, NATALIE *joins your crying*.

      Haha xD Yes, indeed! I'm totally down for that -- rocking-chairs and reminiscences sound like just the thing :) Oh, and I wanted to tell you, too! I recently found a $10 copy of the second season of RH for sale at the library! It was such a surprising and happy blessing :D

      Hehe, I'm not sure, but it sounds suspiciously like my experience watching LD . . . maybe we're clones of each other :P

      *giggles* True, true! Naughty Brontë sisters . . . I know, isn't it adorable?!?!

      I'm glad I found it, 'cause it' such a fun gif :D

      Delete
    2. :D Always!

      Perfect! And OH YOU DID? *high five* That is FANTASTIC! So happy for you. :D (But who was silly enough to part with such a prize? Assuming this was a second hand copy, that is.) Library sales are the best. I always come away from their used book sales with a bag of books and vhs tapes, all for under 5 dollars, usually. :P

      Hahaha, well, ever since meeting you I was astonished by how similar we are, but I didn't know we were THAT similar! Oh Rigaud, what you have done to our poor lives.

      It is!!

      :D

      Delete
    3. *returns high five (late)* Thank you!!!!! (Ach, you make a good point. Silly person. But I'm glad I benefit from their silliness. :-P) AMEN TO THAT: library sales are fabulous. Or really anywhere where books and movies are sold for cheap. ;)

      Our meeting *heart eyes & hugs* << but yes, I KNOW. Dang it all, Andy Serkis!

      Delete
  11. OLIIIVIA! THIS WAS HILARIOUS! Eeeek! I love posts like this!!! :D

    What can I even say? You had way too many good points in this post, and I just loved all of it!!

    "Even if you don't like the characters . . . you like the characters." Haha. So ridiculous, isn't it? I mean, how can that be? ;)

    #5 Uh, yeah. It's a fact of life. Dickens movies MUST be creepy. :P (Honestly, though, if I were in the movie-making business I would find a way to work around that fact a bit. I'm sure there must be some way to do it. Just gotta be more creative. Or less creative? Whatever. ;))

    Oh my goodness! The ending to this post is PERFECTION! And I am currently blown away by how creative and fun this post was. We need more posts like this! "Basically, it's just best to stay away from it." DARCY OUT! Mwahaha. Love it!

    ~Miss March

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha! Thank you so much, Miss March!! I'm so glad you liked it!

      It really is. BBC is utterly ridiculous. It's like the characters are kind of rotten, but they're also kind of awesome.

      Ugh, indeed so. I don't know WHY on earth they feel the need to "creep-ify" Dickens movies.

      Daww! *blushes profusely* You're too kind!

      Delete
  12. Could you possibly give me a list of all the films that go along with the images in this post, they all look so great- I mean rotten :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, I gotchu, friend ;)

      #1, #4, and #6 are from the TV show Robin Hood.

      #2, #8, and #12 are from the TV show Sherlock.

      #3 is from the TV show Lark Rise to Candleford.

      #5 is from the miniseries Little Dorrit (2009).

      #7 is from the miniseries Jane Eyre (2006).

      #9 is from the miniseries Wives and Daughters (1999).

      #10 is from the miniseries Emma (2009).

      #11 and #14 are from the TV show Call the Midwife.

      #13, the picture is from the TV show Merlin, which I have not actually seen yet, but the caption is from a song in Lord of the Rings.

      And #15 is from Pride and Prejudice (1995). :D Hope that helps!

      Delete
  13. OHHHH YES YES YES YES YES. This was one of your BEST POSTS EVER!!! I LOVED ITT!!!!

    Honestly, I want to squeal over it aaalll but I'd just end up saying "Yes and amen" to every one of them! It's SSOOO GOOOOD. Every point, every picture, every quote - I LOVE IT!!!

    (But #8 made me want to scream YES and jump up and down particularly!!! Can we squeal about Sherlock for awhile? I mean, GOSH I LOVE THAT SHOW SO STINKIN' MUCH. ALL THE GIFS AND PICTURES FROM THAT. <3 <3 Have you seen Season 4?!!! I've seen the first two episodes, and hope to see the third sometime this week. If you have, WE MUST TALK.)

    Ohhh, what's the picture directly beneath #13 from?!! :P

    To #14 - ohmygosh YESSSS!!!!

    The gif, the ending, oh my!! Seriously, Olivia, this post was EPIC. I can't say anymore than that. But it was amahzing. The end.

    ~Miss Meg Out~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gaaahhh, thank you!! I'm going to have to try to do some more posts like this :D

      (SHERLOOOOOOOOCCCKKKKK <3 <3 I haven't seen the 4th season, I'm afraid. But I hope to, sometime in the not-too-distant future!)

      The picture itself is from Merlin, but the caption is from a LotR song :P

      Squeee! Thank you so much!

      HAHAHAH YOU DID THE "OUT" PART *dies*

      Delete
  14. Agh this post is far to accurate. Way to accurate.
    BBC tortures us and yet we love it so.....

    ReplyDelete
  15. So accurate, geez---amazing post, Olivia!
    I love all the Sherlock bits (season four killed me), and the "Darcy Out" gif at the end got me XD
    Im looking into watching Robin Hood, but im wary it shall break my heart further still.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bekah, thanks!

      Ach, I haven't seen the fourth season yet . . . yes, you're right, it WILL break your heart further still. I mean, I think it's worth it, but . . . it certainly will :-P

      Delete
  16. So timely, especially after the Sherlock finale (WHICH I ADORED BUT HATED AT THE SAME TIME). Loved this!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EEK I'M SCARED TO TRY IT, HONESTLY! But I probably will . . . thanks, Ashley!

      Delete
  17. You, my dear, are brilliant! That was seriously amazing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awwww, thanks! I appreciate it, Emma!

      Delete

It appears that you're about to leave a comment. I think you should know that if you do, I will giggle and smile and be delirious with joy, and then I'll stalk you to find out whether or not you have a blog *ahem*.

…All that's to say, please comment! :D