"'I protest, sirrah! you are the most malicious little slanderer in Spain.'" | | How to Insult People (World Literature-Style)

I took world literature this year (which was actually pretty fun), and so today, I would like to share with you all some of the awesome insults that I found in the literary repertoire.  (Most of these are from Don Quixote -- because, whatever the *ahem* flaws of that book, it certainly contains some high-class roasts -- and Uncle Vanya.)

Here you are:  a short post detailing the fine art of insulting!  *applause*  (Also, 'pologies about some of the odd punctuation and grammar.  Old books, dontcha know.)

Because this reminds me of Spain and Don Quixote = Spain so #relevance

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"'You are a saucy publican and a blockhead to boot,'" ~ Don Quixote, by Miguel de Cervantes

"'O villainous inconsiderate, indecent and ignorant peasant! thou foul-mouthed, unmannerly, insolent and malicious slanderer! . . . Get out of my sight, monster of nature, depository of lies, cupboard of deceit, granary of knavery, inventor of mischief, publisher of folly, and foe to that respect which is due to royalty; go, nor presume to see my face again, on pain of my highest displeasure!'" ~ Don Quixote, by Miguel de Cervantes

"'Vanya, you're drunk!'" ~ Uncle Vanya, by Anton Chekov

"'You did not tell me so,' said Farah. 'No, I did not tell you so,' I said. 'I thought you had human intelligence.'" ~ Out of Africa, by Isak Dinesen

"'Dry up, Waffles!'" ~ Uncle Vanya, by Anton Chekov

"'You are a cat and a rat and a scoundrel to boot,'" ~ Don Quixote, by Miguel de Cervantes

"'You've been talking for fifty years, talking and reading pamphlets. Time you put a stop to it.'" ~ Uncle Vanya, by Anton Chekov

"'Of what art thou afraid, cowardly miscreant? wherefore dost thou weep, thou heart of butter? who persecutes, who molests thee, thou soul of a garret-mouse? or what wants dost thou suffer, beggarly wretch, rolling as thou art in the very bowels of abundance?'" ~ Don Quixote, by Miguel de Cervantes

"'Before, I used to regard every case as a mental case, as abnormal, but now I've come to the conclusion that it is the normal condition of a man to be a crank. You're quite normal.'" ~ Uncle Vanya, by Anton Chekov

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*drops the mic*