We Love Pirates Week || All the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' movies, ranked.

 

"You are, without doubt, the worst pirate I've ever heard of."

"But you have heard of me." 


What do you know?  Hamlette is hosting a We Love Pirates blog party this week, and I thought it would be the perfect time to rank each installment in the iconic Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.

The usual disclaimers apply:  These are my personal preferences; I like each of these movies in their own way; and in the event that I offend anyone by my judgments, I claim the right of parsnip.

I mean, parley. 



#5.
Dead Men Tell No Tales

I don't dislike this one, but I do feel that the plotting is weak and contrived in places.  Though the reunion at the end, between you-know-who, is very satisfying.  I'll give you that. 😉

And the new couple is pretty cute, too.


#4.
At World's End

I don't like the premise of the second and third movies, and since this one contains the climax and resolution of that narrative thread, we just dive even deeper into all the oddity set up in the sequel.  

Granted, I've only seen this once or twice, but I remember the main plot points, and the overwhelming weirdness.  Lovelornity between an octopus man and a shapeshifting Greek goddess . . . the [UNFAIR] conclusion of Norrington's story arc [my sweet boy deserves better!!] . . . plus disjointed and somewhat clumsy explorations of various potential afterlives . . . 

It's just too much, my pretties.  Too much.

the only version of this scene I will accept

#3.
Dead Man's Chest

Once again, I dislike the plot here.  (And the "natives" part is sketchy.)  But the "jar of dirt" gag is fabulous, and the entire beach scene with the boys fighting each other and Elizabeth screaming at them is Iconic. 

And, I will say, this one has the second best ending of the whole series.  If you know, you know. 😜

It has some great lines, too.
 
#2.
On Stranger Tides

I demand to know why in the name of the sacred Black Pearl so many of y'all sleep on this movie in favor of the second and third.

Me, I'd take a corny quest for the Fountain of Youth and an outrageously shippable relationship between a mermaid and a clergyman who's actually portrayed respectfully for once over a sickly green filter and a love square between Will and Elizabeth and Jack and Norrington any day of the week.

RIP to the rest of y'all, I guess, but I'm different. *shrugs*

(I'm kidding, of course.  We all have different tastes.  Like what you like. 💗)

(Although I MUST INSIST that we talk about Syrena and Philip more often.  It's positively indecent how undervalued they are.)

THEY DESERVE LOVE, I TELL YOU

#1.
The Curse of the Black Pearl

The one, the only. 😉

A rollicking, swashbuckling good time.  The script is I C O N I C , the romance is adorable, Jack is Jack, the music is exhilarating, and the ending is perfection. 



There you have it!
How would you rank these movies?
Who's your favorite PotC character?

Comments

  1. Fun stuff. I love the musical score to the films. It conjures up not only this franchise, but every grand adventure ever seen or ever dreamed.

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    1. Yes, so true! The music is iconic for a reason.

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  2. Norrington!!!!! I didn't initially understand the Will Turner fandom (oh, I get it now, but I'd still pick Norrington) plus a bit freaked by Jack (totally love him now), I was so besotted by Norrington, who had been introduced waaay back in teenagerdom when I wasn't allowed to watch it as "an old man." Blind beings, he's handsome, honorable, sarcastic, and NOT old! I don't think the actor was much older than Orlando Bloom. He's so under-rated, but then I tend to like that sometimes, I don't have to share.

    I think my favorites might be

    3
    2

    1






    4






    Only the reunion scene the rest is too embarrassing to consider.

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    1. Norrington is fantastic!!!! And yeah, he's supposed to be an older man, but they didn't actually CAST an older man, so I don't care. 😂 I agree, I don't think the actor was any (or much) older than Bloom

      But yes, three fabulous guys, all.

      Delete
  3. Great post! I love this series. Curse of the Black Pearl is my favorite, too.
    "Jack is Jack." Yup. I just can't think of any other way to describe him, XD.

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  4. You know, I've never watched these. I've never watched a single Pirates of the Caribbean movie. "Think of that and purr," as the Ethiopian said to the Leopard (yes I //know// that story was casually racist and problematic but it's still a nostalgic quote from my childhood so yeah.)

    *considers thoughtfully* Do you think I would enjoy PotC?

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    1. Okay, actually, I wondered about that when I was writing this post. "Hmmm, I wonder how Katie would feel about these movies?"

      And my answer is . . . I'm not sure. I think there's a good chance you might enjoy the first movie, and I think there's an even better chance that you'd like the fourth or the fifth. (The last one stars a girl who's trying to pursue a career in science amid 1700s sexism/witch-hunt mentality, so that might give you some solid Felicity Montague vibes!?) I don't think you'd like the second or the third because of the aforementioned love square. 😬😂

      But yeah! Maybe we can try one of them together sometime. 😉

      Delete
    2. A science girl!!! Yes!! Gimme! :D

      I might be more interested in the fourth and fifth movies than in the first one, actually, because I'm not really into pirate stories for the sake of the pirates, if that makes sense. I need an Angle.

      *adds PotC to the list of movies we need to watch together sometime* ;)

      Delete
    3. No, I agree with you: The fourth and the fifth have plots that would be much more to your taste, I believe. (And actually, I'm with you on pirates/pirate stories: I don't tend to like them for their own sakes.)

      Also, the reason I think you might enjoy the fourth movie is that there's a side romance between a mermaid and a clergyman and they have to overcome lots of stereotypes and prejudices and I MEAN.

      Delete
  5. I completely agree with your rankings! I've always put the fourth in second place it's just so fun. And nothing can beat the first one!

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    1. Ahh, yay! Another fan of the fourth one! *high five*

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  6. The timing of this post is simply IMPECCABLE. My friend friend Ruby and I have lately been Rather Obsessed with these movies (she is writing a fanfiction, I am bribing her to continue) and I literally just finished watching a whole lotta fan videos for this franchise. Personally... Dead Man's Chest takes the cake for me. But I do adore the first movie quite a lot. Idk, I have Thoughts about how unexpectedly deep this series can be??

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    1. ALSO I'M SO HAPPY THAT THIS COMMENT WAS PUBLISHED -- I HAVE TRIED RECENTLY TO COMMENT ON OTHER POSTS OF YOURS AND THERE IS ALWAYS SOME KIND OF GLITCH THAT PREVENTS ME *weeps many tears*

      Delete
    2. AHHH YOU'VE JOINED THE FANDOM 😍 so exciting!

      Your friend is writing a fanfiction???! NEED DETAILS.

      Ooh, which fan videos are your favorites? I watched some lately too so I wonder if we've seen any of the same ones.

      And may I take this opportunity to formally request that you compile your thoughts on how deep the series can be into a blog post PRONTO? Or at least a reply comment?? I MUST KNOW THEM.

      AND I'M SO HAPPY THE COMMENT WENT THROUGH TOO BECAUSE I'VE MISSED YOU 💛💛💛

      Delete
  7. There's just no comparison, really. I mean, the original PotC is pure pirate poetry. It's HILARIOUS. It has great characters. It was a totally original idea... and in a sense, they kind of ruined it by turning it into a franchise with weaker and weaker installments as it goes along. I still watch them all (and own them all) but PotC is my go-to-happy place. I used to have a habit of watching it on my birthday every year. Maybe I'll reinstate it. ;)

    On a hilarious note, it came out not long before the Women of Faith conference hit my capital -- and so when I went to the event, everywhere I looked, I saw giggling young adult women doing Jack's drunken walk. IT WAS PRICELESS.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. "Pure pirate poetry" -- it is indeed! I think all of the movies have something good to offer, but I do love the first one the best.

      (And I, for one, am in full support of reinstating the birthday tradition. 😉)

      Your conference story is FANTASTIC. Jack's walk is hilarious on its own, and to see that imitated everywhere at a Christian women's conference? Beautiful.

      Delete
  8. Oh I do agree ! Curse of the Black Pearl is definitely my favorite of them all but I love Dead Man's Chest too.

    Loved this !

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  9. I agree for the most part! #5 is definitely my least favourite (I felt the humour was a bit off in that one - Jack just didn't seem as funny??), but then it would be followed by #3 as my next least favourite (just, too weird and creepy and doesn't make any sense)... then I'm torn between #4 and #2... I TOTALLY STAND WITH YOU in shipping Serena and Philip!! But also, #2 is sooo stinkin' hilarious. xD The LINES, they just get me every time! But yes, #1 is definitely the best. I stand with you there.

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    1. I agree; Jack doesn't seem quite so "Jack-ish" in the fifth one?

      And yep, I totally get your rankings. The second one does have some truly fantastic lines and scenes!!

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  10. I love #2 for the absolutely incredible swashbuckling scene aka one of the best sword fights EVER. The lines are perfection. I always say that I don't really care for #4 but this whole time I've forgotten about Syrena and Philip!!! I love those two so much! I don't even know why, but they are some of the most shippable characters EVER!!! Okay, now I need to rewatch it purely for their sake.

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    1. The beach fight scene in the second one is i c o n i c ; you're so right.

      RIGHT?! I don't know exactly what makes Philip and Syrena so shippable but they ARE.

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  11. #1 is the only one I own, because I love it dearly. I've seen #s 2 and 3 exactly twice each, and now I'm good there. #4 is extremely fun -- I think I've gotten it from the library 3 times, and I've been tempted to buy a copy at the used book-and-movie store a couple times, but haven't yet. I still haven't seen #5 because of life being so busy or something... but I'd like to, one of these days.

    So as it stands right now, my ranking is the same as yours.

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    1. Yes! I've slowly collected my own copies of all but the fifth ones, because sometimes you just need a PotC marathon.

      But yep, #1 and #4 are my favorites. 😁

      Delete
  12. The only one that had a strong storyline was The Curse of the Black Pearl, so obviously that one should be first.

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    1. I love The Curse of the Black Pearl. Such a good one.

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  13. So, I'm a bit late to the party with this comment, but I just wanted to express how much I love this post, and agree 1000% with the majority of your rankings (though I would swap Dead Men Tell No Tales and Dead Man's Chest around purely for the reunion & Brenton Thwaites, as well as the fact that I've never been a fan of the Jack & Elizabeth 'thing' in the second movie).

    On Stranger Tides has also always been one of my absolute favourite entries in this series from the first time I watched it, and a huge part of the reason it endeared itself to my heart so fully is due to Philip and Syrena, both individually as well as in the adorable and gorgeous connection they form with each other, so I am definitely with you in terms of them deserving much more attention and love then they have received (I also wish we had gotten at least a couple more scenes between them!) Another of the reasons I adore this film so much is the soundtrack (ESPECIALLY after the Angelica score was used for one of my all-time favourite Argentine Tangos, performed by Frankie Muniz & Witney Carson on Dancing With the Stars’ Season 25 Disney Night ��)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thanks for commenting!!

      I'm with you: I hate the Jack and Elizabeth thing. So unnecessary.

      YES, thank you!!!! OST really needs more love. Philip and Syrena are absolutely precious, and the film itself is just fun! Ooh, yes. The score also has some great moments. I didn't know about that Dancing with the Stars use, I'll have to look it up.

      Delete

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