Tuesday, May 2, 2017

"'I protest, sirrah! you are the most malicious little slanderer in Spain.'" | | How to Insult People (World Literature-Style)

I took world literature this year (which was actually pretty fun), and so today, I would like to share with you all some of the awesome insults that I found in the literary repertoire.  (Most of these are from Don Quixote -- because, whatever the *ahem* flaws of that book, it certainly contains some high-class roasts -- and Uncle Vanya.)

Here you are:  a short post detailing the fine art of insulting!  *applause*  (Also, 'pologies about some of the odd punctuation and grammar.  Old books, dontcha know.)

Because this reminds me of Spain and Don Quixote = Spain so #relevance

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"'You are a saucy publican and a blockhead to boot,'" ~ Don Quixote, by Miguel de Cervantes

"'O villainous inconsiderate, indecent and ignorant peasant! thou foul-mouthed, unmannerly, insolent and malicious slanderer! . . . Get out of my sight, monster of nature, depository of lies, cupboard of deceit, granary of knavery, inventor of mischief, publisher of folly, and foe to that respect which is due to royalty; go, nor presume to see my face again, on pain of my highest displeasure!'" ~ Don Quixote, by Miguel de Cervantes

"'Vanya, you're drunk!'" ~ Uncle Vanya, by Anton Chekov

"'You did not tell me so,' said Farah. 'No, I did not tell you so,' I said. 'I thought you had human intelligence.'" ~ Out of Africa, by Isak Dinesen

"'Dry up, Waffles!'" ~ Uncle Vanya, by Anton Chekov

"'You are a cat and a rat and a scoundrel to boot,'" ~ Don Quixote, by Miguel de Cervantes

"'You've been talking for fifty years, talking and reading pamphlets. Time you put a stop to it.'" ~ Uncle Vanya, by Anton Chekov

"'Of what art thou afraid, cowardly miscreant? wherefore dost thou weep, thou heart of butter? who persecutes, who molests thee, thou soul of a garret-mouse? or what wants dost thou suffer, beggarly wretch, rolling as thou art in the very bowels of abundance?'" ~ Don Quixote, by Miguel de Cervantes

"'Before, I used to regard every case as a mental case, as abnormal, but now I've come to the conclusion that it is the normal condition of a man to be a crank. You're quite normal.'" ~ Uncle Vanya, by Anton Chekov

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*drops the mic*




38 comments:

  1. THIS POST IS PERFECT. I just love all the creative insults that you can sometimes find in literature. XD (It reminds me a lot of this Shakespeare insults mug I found before, which I sadly didn't buy. :P)

    I looooved this. Would you mind if I did a spin-off post like a Jane Austen insults one sometime? I can't remember if anyone I know has done that (PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE, PEOPLE. I don't want to steal your idea), but it sounds like fun. ;)

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    1. (Psst, if you wanted to do the Jane Austen insults one...that would be awesome. I really don't mind who does it because it's probably *not* even an original idea. Plus, who knows if I would ever get around to doing it. Haha! ;P)

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    2. Haha! Awww, thanks, girl <3 *hugs* (Dude, that Shakespeare mug sounds amazing! I hate to be this person, but YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT IT. Heh. But I probably wouldn't have, either. ;-p)

      Ooh, yes, yes, please do so! I'd be honored! (Plus it'd just be fun to read.) (No, you go ahead and do it -- I've considered doing another one of these types of posts, but it'd probably be with Pirates of the Caribbean insults, not JA ones. ;) So do please do your idea!)

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  2. Hahha! This is wonderful! Boy, Don Quixote does have some absolutely awesome insults there! But all these were super fun. Miscreant is a highly underused word. I think "Dry up, Waffles!" might be my favorite. Just because.

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    1. Haha, doesn't it?! I agree, we should use miscreant more. I KNOW, SAME <3 I got to that part in the play and loved it xD

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  3. So funny!!!
    Cupboard of deceit, heart of butter - Don Quixote certainly knew how to insult:)

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  4. Oh yes, these are cool! And yes...please do a Jane Austen and a Shakespeare one too!

    Catherine
    catherinesrebellingmuse.blogspot.com

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    1. Catherine, thanks! Haha, I think I'll leave those to Mary Horton -- I may do a Pirates of the Caribbean one, though! Or, I guess, yeah, I may do a period drama one . . . we'll see. xD Thanks for your comment!

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    2. You're welcome!

      By the way, I tagged you for the Liebster Award: http://catherinesrebellingmuse.blogspot.com/2017/05/liebster-blog-award.html

      Catherine

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    3. Ahh, thank you! I'll look forward to looking into that! (Weird wording, hehe.)

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  5. Haha! I love this post! I now I have to read "Uncle Vanya." I love the waffles quote, and the one about the person being normal (a crank).

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    1. Haha, aren't those two great?! The play's main plot was ehh, as were the characters (to me), but some of the dialogue was priceless.

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  6. Ha. Ha. Ha. This is awesome on many levels. I'll use these on my brothers. :-P jk.

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  7. I'm drowning in finals homework but these made me smile <3

    "Dry up, Waffles!" HAHAHAHAHA. I have often wished to say that myself to Various Individuals ;-)

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    1. Awww, yay, I'm glad it could brighten your day a bit <3 :)

      I KNOW RIGHT.

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  8. Well this was hilarious. I was laughing the whole way through. XD

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  9. Oh my word! This was great!! "I thought you had human intelligence." Hahaha. Love that one. :P "...but now I've come to the conclusion that it is the normal condition of a man to be a crank. You're quite normal.' Haha. So. Funny.

    Thanks for a most amusing post, my dear. :)

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    1. Haha, isn't that one great?! You're most welcome! I'm glad it was entertaining; I was a bit concerned that it might be boring and random, heh, so, glad those fears were unfounded! ;-p

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    2. Totally unfounded, m'dear. (But I understand. I have the same fears with many of my posts, too. :))

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    3. Hehe, at least I'm not alone. ;)

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  10. :D You had me laughing! I sooooo need to read those books! Have you ever heard the song Don Quixote? I started Don Quixote once and I thought it was pretty great! I wonder why I stopped...

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    1. Haha! Hmm, I've heard the music from the musical version of Don Quixote, is that what you mean? Oh, cool! Yeah, it's amusing. It's also way too long and rambling, in my opinion, but that's okay. xD

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    2. Whoa! Wait a minute, back up, THERE IS A MUSICAL DON QUIXOTE!!!!????? Wow, I did not know that. The song I have heard is by Gordon Lightfoot.
      Yeah, the one part of it I read was hardly anything, but, it too forever to read. :)

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    3. There is! That is, sort of. It's called "Man of La Mancha," but it's more of like a blend between the author's actual life and the book itself. It's not very faithful to the book but the music is good. Oh, neat, I'll have to check that out! I think I've heard of Gordon Lightfoot, but I don't think I've listened to his music.

      Haha, I wish I could tell you it gets better, but . . . ;)

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  11. Haha, this is hilarious. XD "Dry up, Waffles!" Good gracious - WHAT a terminology. I love it. ;D

    (Isn't this awful, us all having a roaring good time over insults? ;P)

    ~Miss Meg

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    1. Just so, Miss Meg! ;D

      (Haha, indeed it is. We're terrible people.)

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  12. THIS IS SO WONDERFUL. Honestly you just made my day!!!

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    1. Aww, Monica! Yay, I'm so glad! Those kind of comments make MY day, tbh ;)

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  13. IF ONLY PEOPLE INSULTED OTHERS LIKE THIS INSTEAD OF USING BAD LANGUAGE. (Although, you know, we shouldn't cruelly insult anyone at ALL, but you know what I mean. ;))

    Hahahahaha. This was absolutely great. :D

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    1. Hahahahah, this comment. XD (I do know what you mean, though. And YES. You're right.)

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  14. Zack would like the last insult best :)

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    1. SISSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D <3 <3 <3

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    2. HI, LIVVY LIVVY LULU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3

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